Thursday, 6 January 2011

Thoughts on Cats

Hi mum and Olive.

I know that some owners look at their dogs and wonder what it is that we are thinking about. Mum and dad are no different to all the other humans and they don't have the slightest idea of what is going on in my mind. I do have some deep thought moments like "where is my toy" or "lets go for a walkies". In the main, I daydream, as I just enjoy watching the world go by. While my eyes maybe shut, I do get to smell interesting smells that my owners cannot detect. I also get to hear even the slightest of sounds which again my owners have no idea about. When it comes to forcing my eyes open, my eyesight is pretty good and is on a par with my owners eyesight.

I get to dream in my bed sometimes just like mum and dad have dreams at night. They always say "look she is chasing rabbits" because my legs twitch whenever I dream. The reality of the dream is always about chasing cats and just one particular cat at that. I also have my own deep set views about most things around here. I am very wary of any strangers and I try to warn the family about them. I also like to let the strangers know that they have been seen by me. That's why dad calls me "Poppy the brave and fearless guard dog".

My views on cats. 

I have strong views about cats. In my opinion cats are the worst animal ever to walk on four legs. They dig holes in the garden to poop. Why do they do this?  Every dog knows its the human families responsibility "scoop-and-bag-poop" on our behalf. The family even carry bags at all times with them for doing that. It's good for the family as it gives them a sense of worth!

Why do cats push to the front of the food queue! Then when they see a nice bone, just sniff and then walk away. Cats fight and squeal all night when everyone wants to sleep. Then they sleep all day and get in everyone's way. It is my considered opinion that a cat is a complete waste of space.

What animal in its right mind will climb inside a clothes dryer or washing machine! Jasper the brain addled cat that I am forced to share a home with, does this all the time. He gets locked in cupboards and wardrobes because he sneaks inside when no one is looking.

I suppose if one eats a cat, it is down to personal choice. I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do choose to eat a cat, there is one obvious cooking tip: always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.

I like cats, but I don't think I could eat a whole one!

Yip Yap

Bye for now

Love Poppy XX

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